They sound identical—Megyn and Meghan—two syllables, different spellings, same ruthless playbook. One’s a blonde right-wing rage machine with GLP-1 gauntness and hair extensions, peddling conspiracies from her podcast after flaming out at NBC for $30 million. The other’s a former cable actress turned duchess turned California exile, now strutting down Paris runways with that tight-lipped canary-eating grin while claiming she wants privacy.
Kelly went from Fox partisan to NBC moderate back to podcast extremist, each pivot dictated by who was writing the biggest check. Markle went from royal to anti-royal faster than you can say Netflix deal, monetizing her victimhood while courting every camera she claims to hate. Both discovered the same formula: rewrite history, play the victim, stay flexible with the truth, and cash in relentlessly.
Kelly’s thinner now—pharmaceutically thin—with longer hair and more fillers, the kind of manufactured monster that emerges from right-wing race-baiting. Think Kristi Noem with more conspiracies. Markle still insists she never Googled Harry before marrying him, claimed a secret wedding the Archbishop had to correct, and positions her Fashion Week appearance as somehow consistent with seeking privacy.
They’re not different women. They’re the same woman running the same con from different zip codes. Strip away the branding and you’ve got two people who’ll say anything, be anything, look like anything, if it keeps the checks clearing and the spotlight burning. Two syllables. One playbook. Zero shame about any of it.
