America’s Cracker of the House is Crackers

The Speaker's Delusion: Trump and his Life are Fruits of Divine Providence

There's something vile about watching Mike Johnson—Louisiana's own Elmer Gantry with a law degree and a Speaker's gavel—transform himself into a bargain-basement Old Testament prophet while simultaneously betraying every principle he claims to hold dear. His recent pronouncement that "God miraculously spared the president's life" and that Trump's "presidency and his life are the fruits of divine providence" has all the theological sophistication of a tent revival snake oil salesman, delivered with the constitutional knowledge of someone who apparently skipped the Enlightenment entirely during his legal education.

The performance is pure late-night televangelical theater, complete with Johnson playing the role of a cut-rate Jim Baker hawking political salvation to the gullible masses. But what makes this spectacle particularly revolting isn't just the medieval theology—it's that it's coming from a man whose entire career reads like a master class in hypocrisy, bigotry, and breathtaking …