'I Really Don't Care, Do U?' Says Everyone Invited to Melania Documentary Premiere

“Melania” finally reveals what we've all wondered: What if a mannequin at Bergdorf's gained sentience and immediately married for money?

Okay. I need everybody to sit down because I have absolutely f*&king had it.

Last night, at the KENNEDY CENTER - named for a president who actually cared about this country - Melania Trump premiered her documentary. Amazon paid $40 million for this thing. Forty. Million. Dollars. And Melania personally pocketed $28 million of that. Let me put that in perspective for you. Nicole Kidman - an actual Oscar-winning actress who has been working her ass off for decades - was the highest-earning actress in 2024 at $31 million. Emma Stone, who won her second Academy Award, made $22.5 million for Poor Things. To me it’s way too much money for making a movie, but that is beside the point. Melania Trump, whose greatest acting achievement is pretending to love her husband (and her acting sucks), just out-earned both of them. For a documentary. Where she’s the executive producer. With full editorial control. I’m sorry, what?

Jason Spingarn-Koff, a professor at UC Berkeley who’s worked on hundreds of …