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Donald Trump and James Dobson Storm The Pearly Gates

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Joshua Powell
Aug 24, 2025
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The Donald Seeks Divine Intervention

Oh, Donald. Here we are again, watching our reality-TV president serve up another slice of his tortured psyche on his favorite morning show. This time, it's not about crowd sizes or stolen elections—it's about his eternal real estate prospects.

There was the Donald on Fox & Friends, doing what he does best: making everything about him while accidentally revealing more than he intended. Between his grandiose claims about brokering world peace, he dropped this little theological bombshell: "I want to try and get to heaven, if possible. I'm hearing I'm not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole."

Bottom of the totem pole? How apt. Even Trump's metaphors betray his vertical obsessions—always ranking, always measuring, always desperate to climb higher on whatever pole he's eyeing.

The context, of course, was his latest attempt to cast himself as the great peacemaker, claiming he could save "7,000 people a week" in Ukraine. Because nothing s…

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