This Week and Next

The Divided States of America Takes the Show on the Road

The Peacock of Nassau and Other American Grotesqueries

In the grand tradition of small-time autocrats everywhere, Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman, who wants to govern New York, has taken the noble art of self-promotion to dizzying new heights. His name, emblazoned across every county sign from Eisenhower Park to the Museum of Art, greets residents like a persistent relative who won’t leave the family reunion. Christopher Morley Park? More like Blakeman’s billboard. The jail? Branded. Old Bethpage Village? You guessed it.

Bruce Blakeman

Blakeman’s branding obsession reminds us of another man who can’t resist plastering his name on things—the president who just illegally slapped “Trump” above “Kennedy” on the Kennedy Center, despite Congress naming it by law as a memorial to JFK. Perhaps Blakeman sees in Trump a kindred spirit, a mentor in the fine art of self-aggrandizement. Both men understand that in politics, humility is for losers.

In his quest to out-MAGA the MAGAs, Blakeman has managed the impressive feat of making Elise Stefanik look moderate. He’s organized a private militia—excuse me, “Provisional Emergency Special Deputy Sheriffs”—offering gun-toting civilians $150 a day to train for undefined emergencies. When pressed about what crisis necessitated armed civilians when the county already has 2,600 police officers, the National Guard, and holds the distinction of being one of America’s safest counties, Blakeman offered vague warnings about preparedness.

But perhaps Blakeman’s finest hour came with his transgender sports ban—an executive order (later a county law) barring transgender women from competing in women’s sports at county facilities. When reporters asked what incident prompted this urgent action, Blakeman couldn’t cite a single example. Neither could the executive director of the agency overseeing high school sports in Nassau County, who confirmed: “We have not had any issues with transgender athletes participating...no complaints, and I’m not sure that there are any.”

Mr. Smith Dies in Washington

Jack Smith

I’d hoped to finish my deep dive into Jack Smith’s explosive congressional deposition last week, but the 255-page transcript and eight hours of video demanded more attention. It’ll be ready by tomorrow—a portrait of prosecutorial integrity meeting partisan hackery, complete with Smith’s emotional defense of career prosecutors fired for doing their jobs. The former special counsel made one thing crystal clear: January 6th “does not happen” without Donald Trump, and the evidence gathered was “proof beyond a reasonable doubt” that Trump engaged in a criminal scheme. Republicans dumped the transcript on New Year’s Eve, naturally, when fewer Americans would notice Smith methodically dismantling their “political hitman” narrative.

The Best MRI Results That Never Happened

President Trump offered a candid but puzzling account of his health in a wide-ranging interview with the Wall Street Journal, revealing that he routinely dismisses his physicians’ recommendations and, at one point, couldn’t recall what kind of imaging scan he received or which part of his body was examined. It started as an MRI (he said so himself in October), then morphed into a CT scan (his doctor’s clarification), before Trump admitted he regretted getting any imaging at all because it gave critics “ammunition.” Nothing to see here, folks. Just a 79-year-old president who can’t remember what medical test he had three months ago but insists his health is “perfect.”

Aspirin. It’s What’s for Breakfast

Trump also revealed he takes 325 milligrams of aspirin daily—a dose his medical team has repeatedly urged him to reduce. The president refuses, citing superstition about changing a regimen he’s followed for 25 years. “They say aspirin is good for thinning out the blood, and I don’t want thick blood pouring through my heart,” Trump explained with characteristic medical precision. “I want nice, thin blood pouring through my heart. Does that make sense?”

Not to actual doctors, no. The high-dose aspirin explains the persistent bruising frequently visible on Trump’s hands, which has been the subject of public speculation. The solution? Makeup, naturally. “I have makeup that’s, you know, easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds,” he told the Journal, having been “whacked again by someone.” Attorney General Pam Bondi’s ring was the alleged culprit in one incident. The president also addressed his apparent dozing during Cabinet meetings with the sort of logic only he could muster: “I’ll just close. It’s very relaxing to me. Sometimes they’ll take a picture of me blinking, blinking, and they’ll catch me with the blink.”

Let’s Party Like It’s 2026

The Trumps tossed a party at Mar-a-Lago on New Year’s Eve, where the president wobbled into the ballroom with Melania—draped in metallic silver, looking every bit the trophy wife required for such occasions—to party with the MAGA elite. Ice Barbie and the Reaper (Kristie Noem and Stephen Miller) were spotted grooving awkwardly to Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby,” a sight that should haunt us all into our senescence.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, currently wanted by the International Criminal Court for alleged war crimes, attended as guest of honor. The $1,450-a-ticket soirée featured a charity auction where a speed-painted portrait of Jesus sold for $2.75 million—because nothing says “blessed are the poor” like rich people bidding on religious iconography at a Palm Beach resort. Trump’s resolution for the new year? “Peace on Earth.” This from a man who, hours earlier, had used Truth Social to call Colorado Governor Jared Polis a “scumbag” and George Clooney “mediocre.”

The Witchdoctor Will See You Now

RFK Jr., the anti-vaccine activist masquerading as Health Secretary, has presided over a measles outbreak that’s reached nearly 660 cases this year—the first pediatric death from measles since 2015 occurred in Texas on his watch. His CDC has buried measles forecasts, halted flu shot campaigns during a ferocious flu season, and his handpicked vaccine panel voted to stop recommending routine hepatitis B vaccines for newborns despite no new safety concerns. When pressed about the measles crisis, Kennedy offered lukewarm endorsements of vaccines while promoting cod liver oil as treatment. The man who once ran an anti-vaccine organization now claims his “strategy has been very successful,” a statement that would be laughable if children weren’t dying.

Meanwhile, flu continues to ravage the country, whooping cough cases rise, and the U.S. teeters on losing its measles elimination status—all preventable diseases making comebacks under Kennedy’s “leadership.”

Ms. Kelly’s Lament

Megyn Kelly, the bottle-blond bottle of ipecac who traded television for podcasting, recently revealed her list of “meanest” celebrities—a parade of famous people who had the temerity to find her questions offensive. Jane Fonda tops the list, having committed the unforgivable sin of being “offended” when Kelly asked about plastic surgery instead of the film Fonda was promoting. Also making the cut: Bruce Willis (”ungiving and ungenerous”), Ellen DeGeneres (whose staff allegedly couldn’t make eye contact with her in hallways), and Al Roker (no specific reason given, just general unpleasantness).

Coming from someone who built a career on asking the wrong questions and calling it journalism, this is rich. Kelly’s rehabilitation tour as a conservative podcast host has her positioning herself as truth-teller while cherry-picking celebrity encounters to settle old scores.

Trump’s Many Wars

Unlike Lyndon Johnson’s genuine War on Poverty, Trump wages war on the poor themselves. The dismantling of the Affordable Care Act continues apace as enhanced subsidies expire, threatening to send millions into insurance chaos with premium increases of more than 100%. His “One Big Beautiful Bill” slashes $600 billion from Medicaid over ten years, affecting 11 million people, and cuts $230 billion from SNAP food assistance.

When a far-right 23-year-old made viral but unproven claims about Somali daycare fraud during his New Year’s Eve party, Trump promised to “get to the bottom of all of it,” treating social media conspiracy theories as policy priorities while actual families lose healthcare, childcare and food assistance.

And today, Trump launched his latest war—a literal one. In the early morning hours, U.S. forces struck Venezuela without Congressional authorization, bombing military installations in Caracas and surrounding areas. Trump announced on Truth Social that Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro and his wife had been “captured and flown out of the Country,” bound for New York to face drug trafficking charges. Venezuela’s Attorney General reported civilians among the dead; the country’s Defense Minister described American combat helicopters firing rockets and missiles in urban areas. Venezuelan officials, soldiers, and civilians were killed in what Caracas called a “grave military aggression” and a “flagrant violation” of the United Nations Charter.

Democratic Senator Brian Schatz warned the United States has “no vital national interests in Venezuela to justify war.” Even some Republicans initially questioned the constitutionality before falling in line after calls with Secretary of State Marco Rubio. Congressional leadership received no advance notice—they were briefed only after the bombs had already fallen. The operation was, as one expert noted, “virtually unprecedented” and “prohibited under international law.” But Trump called it “a brilliant operation,” praised the planning, and told Fox News he expects the U.S. to get “very strongly involved” in Venezuela’s oil industry. Because nothing says “peace on earth” quite like bombing a sovereign nation to seize its resources.

The new year dawns on an America where reality itself seems negotiable, where a president can’t remember his own medical tests but demands we trust his “perfect” health, where public health officials promote snake oil while preventable diseases return, where the Constitution’s war powers clause is treated as a suggestion, and where the powerful celebrate in Palm Beach while millions lose their safety nets and bombs fall on Caracas.

Welcome to 2026.

©2026 All Rights Reserved. Josh Powell and The Powell House Press. Email: josh@thepowellhousepress.com