Those Were the Days!

I'm All In. Bring Back the Good Old Days GOP Patriots. Let's Party Likes it's 1977.

I miss the old days before we were woke.

Take high school, for example. We had "Focus," which was supposed to be an alternative for some students but really became the breeding ground of many of the school's bullies. The powers that be strategically housed the GCHS in-house prison right across from biology and chemistry. The perfect mix of pocket-protecting science fare for the sociopaths in training.

But the assaults on our adolescents in the 1980s were random, there was at least justice in knowing that the hate coming your way was less coordinated. When they were planning to give us cancer, they started us off young, denying us the knowledge that cigarettes were really bad. Hell, if you had a note, you could smoke in school. They were even kind enough to put the smoking area next to the cafeteria, ensuring that everyone aside from the lucky anorexics got a healthy dose of second-hand smoke.

Gosh and those fun car rides! We had the Pinto that blew up and every single car on the market was guaranteed to knock out your pearly whites in a crash. None of those pussy-bags we all have now. Even the seatbelts were fantastic. Just across the pelvis – marvelous, really. That jackknife position a person would assume on impact was the fantasy of every Olympic diver.